


Intensive Haxxor Babe 101

by JaneCrocker (DHume)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Male characters only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-29
Updated: 2012-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-22 19:28:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/613415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DHume/pseuds/JaneCrocker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in the soon-to-be-jossed-future where Calliope and the alpha kids have met up and get to hang out.<br/>'Roxy attempts to teach Calliope the secrets of her superior hacking skills. This involves getting up close and personal, excessive hand touching, and one very flustered cherub. One thing eventually leads to another, and no one learns anything.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intensive Haxxor Babe 101

**Author's Note:**

  * For [louisthestrongman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/louisthestrongman/gifts).



“So, how is this going to help the offensive against my brother, any?”

  
Calliope peered at the lines of obnoxiously pink code on the screen and sighed, tapping the exit button with her claws. She leaned back.

“It seems that we're making little to no progress, and I don't see why you can't do this bit, Roxy dear. I'm just useless!”

  
Her affected British accent trilled loudly on the Us, and within minutes in her company both Dirk and Erisol had both thrown up their hands and left her to typing desolately and slapping the keyboard every so often. She seemed desperate not to have Roxy be her computer literate guide, which had hurt Roxy's feelings for a while until, like usual, she forced herself to shrug it off and get on with it. Thankfully Calliope didn't avoid her all the time- just when it came to Coding Lessons.

Roxy was kinda starting to get frustrated herself. She'd had enough of her friends avoiding her, and she'd thought Calli was different; so she had scheduled this 'intensive haxxor babe 101' session, no ifs no buts, and had even scored some of Calli's weird cherub food and human snacks for them to have a kind of Nerd slumber party.

“Listen, babe”, she said, leaning in, “I am the ninja of coding. I am the pink samurai princess here to take my Derse kingdom from the wicked fishy stepmother, and nothing can stop me. You're my cute little apprentice. Right now you don't understand why I'm making you do these high kicks in heels, but all will become clear, my padawan.”

  
For once, Roxy's mashup of pop culture references didn't earn her a blank stare- Calliope was almost as an accomplished 'historian' (or 'giant dweeb', as Dirk called it) as she was.

  
Calliope just nodded, determinedly.

  
“Okay, yes, I think I get it. How does this symbol work again?” she asked, pointing at the hash key. Only the sweet look on Calliope's face stopped Roxy from slapping her forehead in frustration.

“From the top, then..."

  
Suddenly inspiration struck.

  
"You need to see it through my eyes, babe. Feel the magic. Coding seems boring until you just start to _get it_." Moving from beside the computer chair to just behind Roxy leaned in, arms around Calliope to point at the screen.

  
"See this?" She pointed at the ASCII art bust of Condy near the top right of the screen.

"That's useless code there meant to taunt us. If it were me I'd use it to muck everything up, but we're at basics. See this?" she added, moving both arms closer around to point at two pieces of code near the middle. "That's the start and end of a loop. You have to learn to see in patterns." Calliope nodded, and Roxy realised that she was sitting bolt upright with her hands on her suit trousers.

  
"What's wrong, Calli? I'm not a creepy math teacher, I'm just a bestie helping pass on her skills." She drawled on the last word so that Calliope could hear her pronouncing the ironic 'z'.

  
She went to touch her hand and pull it up to the screen again.

"We can do this together, babe."

Roxy couldn't help noticing that Calliope's hands were warm and solid- she couldn't see any network of bones and veins like in her own, everything was just there. It felt really nice.

"Okay, here's one part of a loop. I want you to point at the other one." Roxy still had Calliope's hand and started rubbing her thumb over the strange texture of her skin absentmindedly.

  
Calliope made a noise in her throat a little like a high pitched growl. It was the cutest thing Roxy had ever heard, and she knew she wanted to hear it again.

"Um, could it possibly be here? The other part of the er- the um, link?" Calliope sounded a little flustered, and Roxy suddenly had an idea.

  
Calliope had pointed to completely the wrong thing, but the line she was looking for was only a few inches away on the screen. Feeling pleased with herself for being so sneaky Roxy grabbed the other hand, moving it to the right place.

"Look, look at our hands, that's the matching pattern." Roxy moved their hands round again, finding a few more matched pieces of code and taking the opportunity to curl her fingers further round Calliope's. "Pairs everywhere! When you see 'em it all gets easier."

  
Calliope’s voice sounded a little off, a little rougher than her usual feminine soft britishisms, and Roxy knew she had gotten under her guard.

“I’m so terrible at this, darling, I’m so sorry- I know it’s important, I just-” Roxy moved her hands away, but she couldn’t resist letting them trail down the sliver of Calliope’s exposed skin between hand and jacket cuff a little bit, savoring the different feel of it. She placed them on the desk.

“Don’t worry! It’s all fine! You’re learning this pretty fucking fast, Calli, you don’t have to be embarassed.”

  
She looked over at Calliope with a wide, proud smile. Was that her imagination or were the limey spirals on her cheeks glowing brighter than usual?

“Why, miss Muse, are you blushing?” Roxy drawled on the last word, suddenly embarassed herself, wanting to play up everything as a joke. What if she was freaking Calliope out? Calliope’s cheeks only seemed to grow brighter, until she brought up a hand that had been resting near Roxy’s own to pat it self-consciously.

Roxy heard the swish of fabric as she moved past, and could thought she could feel everywhere they were touching, or nearly so. She wondered how pink her own cheeks were.

“It’s not that weird, is it Roxy?” Calliope asked, worried again.

“No- it’s really pretty,” Roxy answered. There was a pretty large probability that she had a goofy look on her face, but Roxy didn’t really care. On an impulse, she lightly touched the clawed hand covering Calliope’s cheekbones with her own.

“You always worry that you look weird or wrong. But you shouldn’t, you know, because you’re really pretty, and you have a lovely face, and a nice voice, even when you don’t put on a cutie patootie act, and, uh-” here she stumbled. Had she totally stepped over the line?- “your skin is a really nice colour and it’s really uh, it feels nice. You’re a total babe, Callie, you just think you’re not.”

She rushed over the last few words, and then in a desperate attempt to ignore the inevitable change in Calliope’s face from wonder to pity, or some other bullshit, she reached for the special stardust.

“And you smell nice and sugary, like your weird glitter magic food. I wonder if you could make it into a perfume? You could call it fairy dust.” She stuck her tongue out.

If Calliope could be blushing any more, she’d been painful to look at. She was glowing, and her eyes were wide in a sort of pleased way, Roxy thought.

“Your cheeks are so bright,” she murmured, and before Calliope had a chance to try and cover them Roxy had her hands and pulled them away, instead darting in to lightly kiss the whorls on each cheek, left and right. “They’re perfect.”

She let go of Calliope’s hands and leant right back, waiting again for Calliope to say something or freak out or- something. Instead Calliope turned round and returned the favor, lightly pecking at where Roxy knew there would be flushes of pink on her own, human-y looking boring cheeks.

Her fangs pressed in to the soft part of Roxy’s face near her nose, but they didn’t pierce the flesh. Roxy reached hesistantly for one of Calliope’s hands and tangled it with her own, bringing it up to touch Calliope’s cheeks again, the space above her nose- where Roxy made a little ‘boop’ sound and giggled, before moving their intertwined hands to smooth across Calliope’s forehead and back to Calliope’s other cheek.

“See, you’re really pretty and smart as well,” Roxy finished, not letting go of her hands. Calliope looked like she was about to set on fire, and Roxy leaned in and kissed her.

“Stay real still, I’m just worried about my baby lips, Calli, sorry.” Calliope didn’t seem to mind, as Roxy trailed light kisses around the top of her lips, then a few on her cheeks again for good measure.

“You’re beautiful,” she added, and this time Calliope leaned forward, as if that was what she’d needed to hear, and was careful like Roxy had been, only instead of light butterfly kisses Calliope just kissed Roxy.

They were different, totally, but Roxy liked the contrast between her pink fleshy face and Calliope’s. From what she knew she thought Calliope might have compared her skin to a skull’s or a dolphin or Earth; but it was much nicer than that, just with less give than Roxy’s- more like she was a living sculpture, a Roman goddess come alive, just like her name. Calliope’s free hand came up to the back of Roxy’s head and sort of patted her hair, carding her claws through it but careful not to pull, just letting her fingers touch instead.

  
Roxy pulled away, rested her forehead against Calliope’s.

“Why are you so careful? You don’t like it when things go wrong, or when you can’t control your voice, or when you touch things, it’s all right.” She bought her own free hand up to show Calliope. “My nails are pretty like your claws! You don’t need to worry, okay?”

Calliope nodded.

“Cherubs aren’t- well, we’re not like you, or like trolls, much as I wish we were, so it’s a little difficult- but..” She looked down at Roxy’s lips. “I’d like to uh, try, of course, dear.”

  
Roxy gave her hand a squeeze.

“Of course, Calli, luv,” she said, mimicking Calliope’s accent. Calliope stuck her tongue out at her this time, and the strangeness of it, white and clean like Roxy’s own teeth, felt like it took Roxy’s breath away. Calliope was so different from everyone, and so gorgeous for it, and Roxy was just going to have to take her time convincing Calliope of that fact.

  
She didn’t mind, though. She was turning out to be an excellent teacher.


End file.
